One Wants a Teller (in a time like this)
"One wants a Teller in a time like this;
One's not a man, not a woman grown
To bear enormous burdens all alone..."
My cousin AD challenged the readers of her blog to write a letter to themselves. I really, really liked the idea of that, of my older, wiser self giving my younger self a little TLC and help. There's lots of things I'd like to tell my younger self (and hopefully my younger self would listen!).
In fact, the whole thing reminded me of a portion of Gwendolyn Brooks' poem "One Wants a Teller (In a Time Like This)". I've always liked the poem because I actually like being told what to do...sort of. Because I so want to do things right the first time around, I like when someone will just tell me all the rules and then get the heck outta my way and let me do it all just perfectly.
I have learned a little something in the last month. There are certain times of life when there are plenty of tellers but there are no rules (some of you, like my sister Julie, are going, "No rules?! HOORAY! I hate rules!"). This lack of rules, however, throws people like me into a sort of apoplectic fit. So, I thought I'd give my pre-childbirth self a little advice...
"Dear 10 month pregnant self,
You like rules. You like order. You like doing things right the first time. All of that is about to be blown to smithereens when you have a child.
You will find no shortage of people who are willing to share a ton of advice with you. None of this advice will work because your child will be different from their child. You will continue to ask for advice and then you will bang your head against the wall at 3:30 in the morning when none of that advice works.
You will ask seven people in the course of one day about breastfeeding. You will get seven different answers. This will be very frustrating to you and will insist that there has to be ONE way, that is the RIGHT way. The same will be true on how to hold your child, how to put her down for a nap, where she should sleep at night, how you should burp her...the list is endlessly, endlessly long.
Let me save you some heartache. The Teller is YOU. Listen to your inner voice. No one knows the right thing because no one else is the mother of this child except you.
Yeah. That is very freaky. But it is true. And it's that way because it's the best way. Be gentle with yourself...especially at 3:30 a.m.
Love,
Your-Mother-of-a-one-month-old-self.
PS Lillian turns out okay. Sleep a little easier.
One's not a man, not a woman grown
To bear enormous burdens all alone..."
My cousin AD challenged the readers of her blog to write a letter to themselves. I really, really liked the idea of that, of my older, wiser self giving my younger self a little TLC and help. There's lots of things I'd like to tell my younger self (and hopefully my younger self would listen!).
In fact, the whole thing reminded me of a portion of Gwendolyn Brooks' poem "One Wants a Teller (In a Time Like This)". I've always liked the poem because I actually like being told what to do...sort of. Because I so want to do things right the first time around, I like when someone will just tell me all the rules and then get the heck outta my way and let me do it all just perfectly.
I have learned a little something in the last month. There are certain times of life when there are plenty of tellers but there are no rules (some of you, like my sister Julie, are going, "No rules?! HOORAY! I hate rules!"). This lack of rules, however, throws people like me into a sort of apoplectic fit. So, I thought I'd give my pre-childbirth self a little advice...
"Dear 10 month pregnant self,
You like rules. You like order. You like doing things right the first time. All of that is about to be blown to smithereens when you have a child.
You will find no shortage of people who are willing to share a ton of advice with you. None of this advice will work because your child will be different from their child. You will continue to ask for advice and then you will bang your head against the wall at 3:30 in the morning when none of that advice works.
You will ask seven people in the course of one day about breastfeeding. You will get seven different answers. This will be very frustrating to you and will insist that there has to be ONE way, that is the RIGHT way. The same will be true on how to hold your child, how to put her down for a nap, where she should sleep at night, how you should burp her...the list is endlessly, endlessly long.
Let me save you some heartache. The Teller is YOU. Listen to your inner voice. No one knows the right thing because no one else is the mother of this child except you.
Yeah. That is very freaky. But it is true. And it's that way because it's the best way. Be gentle with yourself...especially at 3:30 a.m.
Love,
Your-Mother-of-a-one-month-old-self.
PS Lillian turns out okay. Sleep a little easier.
Comments
And to add to your mounds of advice, I stressed WAY too much with my first to get on a schedule!!! And he became my worst sleeper! My #1 advice is to just enjoy that baby as much as you can! For the first 3 months, don't worry about a schedule, where she sleeps etc.... Just do what YOU can do to SURVIVE!!! Get the hang of the nursing thing but just don't stress about a sleep schedule yet. After having three kids, I finally believe the old "you can't spoil a new baby" saying. At least for those first three months! Then try lying her down awake and work on a routine. She'll probably fall into one on her own naturally.
I'm sure you are just a WONDERFUL mother, so nurturing and attentive. Just soak it up and hang in there! My life moto is "Time and Season!!!" Things will feel more normal someday and things will become easier. Just enjoy the now! :)
Sorry for the lengthy post. Guess you just struck a cord in me!
Love your thoughts!
amy:)
I'm glad you know that already.
What an adventure you're having!
At first I was thinking you were writing about a bank teller and I was like, hey I know that.
yeah, I'm kinda dumb.