Is it really a swear word?

"But at supper that evening when I asked him to pass the damn ham, please, Uncle Jack pointed at me. 'See me afterwards, young lady,' he said." --Scout, To Kill A Mockingbird

When we were little girls my dad used to tape record us talking. About 2-3 of these cassette tapes are still in existence. I have one of them. It's got "1975." written on it in ball point pen in my father's scrawly script. In addition to being a priceless piece of family history, it also opens the door for a little thing I'd like to bring up for discussion.

The cassette tape goes something like this:

Dad: "What's your name little girl?"
Julie: "I'm Julie and I want to get married in the temple!"
Dad: "Oh, you do? And who are you little girl?"
Trish: "My name is Patricia and I AM A CHILD OF GOD AND HE HAS SENT ME HERE..."
Julie: "I'm going to go on a mission!"
Dad: "We have another little girl here. Elizabeth? What do you want to say?"
Me: "DAMMIT! DAMMIT! Uh...DAMMIT!"

We learn many things from this little interview interchange. First, my twin sisters were headed straight to heaven at 3 years old. Second, I started using words like damn and hell before I was out of diapers. Third, the juxtaposition of my cursing with my sister's singing of "I am a child of God" is beyond hilarious. Nevertheless, today's post is all about swear words. Specifically, those two swear words.

The thing is, at my house they weren't swear words. My very orthodox Mormon church going mother used those words as often as you might use words like toothbrush or popcorn or super awesome.

Now, this is not to say that Mom cursed like a sailor all the time. The only words that she really used were damn and hell, and so, in my mind, they just weren't swear words at all. So, I grew up using them as frequently as she did. I learned over time not to say them into any microphones, and have curbed my use to once or twice a week, but I haven't let the habit go entirely. I still believe that there's nothing quite so nice and satisfying as a well placed dammit! Another favorite is "my hell."

This phrase came in quite handy when I was teaching. True story: a student of mine sluffed my class. When I called him out in the hall about it, he said, "My hell!" I said right back, "My hell is right!" He thought he was being shocking. My ability to be shocking right back won his friendship and admiration. Weird, but effective.

I have recently realized that my sisters share in using these words. This is the unwitting legacy my mother leaves us, along with her cinnamon rolls recipe and skinny legs. I may pass this legacy on to Lillian.

Forgive me. And in the meantime, pass the damn ham.

Comments

Diane said…
Cade will really enjoy this blog. I don't swear and ken really doesn't but Ken's dad WAS a truckdriver and spoke like one. He was Cade's hero. When Harold would try to curb swearing in front of Cade, his first grandchild, Cade would finish the swear word for him and get roaring laughs from Grandpa. Talk about positive reinforcement. I sure can't picture you and your sisters swearing. The whole thought makes me laugh.
Blake said…
Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm glad I didn't do that.
Cade said…
Swearing is so wrong.
AD said…
I can't imagine Lillian dropping a d-word or an h-word for that matter! Never never never! I'm going to start a Facebook event page To Prevent Baby Lillian from Swearing. (Even if she does it in a way that makes us all laugh out loud, like you and your sisters...)
Anaise said…
That is so funny! I think this post will catch me at odd moments through the day and make me laugh again.

I don't remember EVER hearing those words come out of any of your mouths--and I certainly can't remember Aunt Marian using them either!!

That's strange to me.

Truthfully, I can't even imagine you using those words, so apparently they haven't damaged your reputation at all.
Camille said…
I gots somethin' to say and then I ain't gonna say no mo'.

That was pretty bleepin damn funny.

Thank you for exposing our family's sins. I'm so glad they're finally out.

(I'm laughing sooo hard!! Especially thinkin' about mom and her skinny legs and bum)

xo
Steffani said…
You know, Ryan Harris didn't want to marry me because I wasn't the kind of girl who "would say damn and hell" every once in a while. You guys should have hooked up! JK. So funny! Have a hell awesome day. Is that the way you use that? Steffani
Judy Francisco said…
Now this is truly hilarious. A good "hell" or "damn," honestly expressed, adds so much spice and color to personality in my opinion, and sometimes just (as you say) tastes delicious as one or the other rolls off my tongue. But I'd never DARE say them, say, in front of my grandchildren. I almost wish I could--not have to struggle with controlling that part of myself, I guess... The one that slips out the most because I have no control over it, though, is "little shit." I like that one a lot; I think I learned it from Carma, but Marian keeps pace with that one too. It makes me smile just writing it...
Blondie said…
This post made me laugh right out loud.
I didn't hear my mom using those words very often in my childhood, but my kids sure do!
When my son was about six he dropped something and declared "damnit!" I told him not to say that because it was swearing. He looked at me in total shock and said "It is?! But you say that all the time."
Perhaps I should cut back to just twice a week as well.
Kandis said…
Hey, if it's in the bible it's free game, right?
AD said…
Well, how's this for your post rubbing off on me...today I was trying to get off to church on time, and I dropped a bottle of vitamins (Mood Elevator if you wanna know) and I dropped the bottle and little capsules of all natural happiness inducers spilled everywhere. Out came, "DAMMIT" and I haven't said that in YEARS. I don't know if it was a Liz/Trish/Jen/Marian dammit, or some other kind. But it did make me feel a teensy bit better!
Good Carma said…
Oh come on those aren't swear words, they are simply words of frustration. I haven't been able to convince Michele and James that and when I slip around their kids, oh my gosh I am in for it. And Jude is right "little shit" is totally an endearment from me, where it came from I have no idea but it is.
Jen said…
Awe, Lizzie, I love this!!! I had to read it to my Elizabeth because she is always harassing me when i say the damn and hell words. I read this to her today and told her to blame Grandma Gleason. We both had a good giggle! xoxoxo

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